I know I have only been married for three years, so I still no little about marriage but what I do know is that I hate the way that marriage is portrayed in the media. Media teaches us from a small age about the fairy tale (what marriage/relationships should be like). We fall in love with our soul mate, fireworks light and spell out "Happily Ever After." One example Cinderella, she finds her prince charming he puts on the shoe that is the perfect fit, fireworks go off they get married and live "happily ever after!" Happily ever after! What does that even mean? Did they go home and stare in eachothers eye, make love, and kiss all the time. The thing that gets worse about this false idea is that it is implanted into our brains at such a young age. We get older and hopefully, hopefully we have parents who teach us reality. You would think that as we age we become more educated about marriage, and we get a better sense of what it should be like. But NO, It only gets worse!
We are filled with the idea that women should be 5'5 size 2 and at least a D bra size. We are forced to see what women should look like, and be like through comercials, T.V. shows, and PORNOGRAPHY. Anyone has pornography at there finger tips. Children are using smart phones, and f anyone wants to see it they will get it. It doesn't matter how old, if they are married, or if they are 5 years old. It's everywhere! How does this all fit in with Cinderella, because that is the start to our expectation of relationships. If we don't meet our prince charming we will get bored, because fireworks aren't flashing 24/7 and the normalicy of marriage hits and we realize that marriage is hard. There are ups and downs. Fights and disagreements, children to raise, and problems that have to be talked about . What the fairy tales should say is "And this is where is begins." After the honeymoon marriage becomes a normal way of life. It gets real! You work on differences and learn everyday until the day we die how to resolve problems.
Media teaches us that reality of marriage is BORING! Its not exciting, marriage must be exciting or we are not soul mates. The man must sweep you off your feet everyday or they are boring, and you should move on to the next. We are taught to not work on our marriages. If it gets hard find the easy way out. Why doesn't the media explain the damage of divorce, not only on ourselves but especially kids. It is sick how distorted views of relationships are thees days.
I am so lucky I married a man who knows that we are not perfect, either is our relationship, but he is committed to our marriage. The majority of our days are normal, real. We don't feel like we have to put on a show. We know each other and continue to learn how we work. There are days where we feel excited. Days where we fight, but the thing that I love most is we can be ourselves. We can be sad when we are sad. If we have a bad day we can. I don't have to act perfect all of the time. A healthy marriage is a real marriage where there are issues. We have and will continue to have many exciting times and times where we might want to kill each other, but at least we will know to expect it. We understand that that is what make us strong. We overcoming trials and grow together. I have a lot to learn, but I am blessed and lucky enough to have picked the man I did to learn it with.
