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The story of our sweet baby, kya.

It was Sunday the 25th of September, and I kept telling Chris to get the babies room ready and set up the babies room.  I felt a little stressed, because it wasn't ready.  We recently moved so our apartment was unorganized.  I was planning on getting it all ready the next day.  I felt a little nauseous throughout the day.  Chris's friend Jon came and help set up the crib.  I jokingly walked by and was like I might go into labor tonight you better hurry.  I still had 4 more weeks of pregnancy so I thought I had some time. 

It was 2:00 in the morning and I woke up to a gush of something.  Half asleep I went to the bathroom and thought I wet the bed.  Water kept coming and I knew this was different.  I woke up Chris and told him that I think my water had broken.  We were both in disbelief.  We paced the house for 10 min extreamly nervous.  My sister Elise was expecting her boy at any time.  She was 2 weeks ahead of me.  I called my mom and told her what was happening.  She thought I probably wet the bed.  I didn't have any contractions at all. 

I hoped in the shower, and asked chris to get the midwives on the phone.  He seriously paced back and forth for a half hour doing nothing.  We called the midwife and she told us to come to the hospital when we could because we were going to have this baby.  I was extremely nervous.  I could not believe this was happening now.  An hour after my water broke I started having contractions.  They were about 4 minutes apart and not very strong.  We got to the hospital and they checked to make sure my water broke.  My contractions were getting closer together and increasing in pain.  The nurses were taking there sweet time. The midwife was on her way, and I was starting to experience the joy of labor.

2 hours after my water broke my contractions were extremely painful! I was more than ready for my epidural.  Chris and I was wondering what was taking the nurses so long.  I was in pain!!!!!  They finally got everything together and I was getting the epidural.  My contractions were so painful at this point I felt like I was going to faint and I was throwing up, because of the pain.  I thought I might die.  The midwife checked me and I went from a 4 to an 8.5 in an hour.  This baby was coming with a vengeance.  Kya's heart rate began to drop to 50bpm and everyone was panicing.  The midwife was calling the doctor in for an emergancy c section.  I was moving side to side to try and help kya to stabalize her heart rate.  They gave me a shot to slow down my labor, and she began to stabalize.  My mom finally got there and I was trying to relax from all the stress.  Chris was in shock.

A total of 4 hours of labor and I was ready to have this baby.  I pushed her out in 20 minutes and she was here.  She is goergous.  I have never felt so happy to meet someone in my life.  She's perfect. Our eyes filled with tears and every fear that we had went away.  She has a wraped aroung her little finger.  She was born Sept. 26th at 7:45am and was 6lbs and 18 in.  She was a healthy baby girl.  She had a bit of a hard time breathing.  They took her to give her a bath and we went to sleep.

The doctor woke me up and told me that she was going to be admitted to the NICU.  He didn't know what was going on but thought she might have a infection or something.  I was heart broken.  I didn't know what was going on.  The lack of information that I was receiving was frustrating.  She has been in the NICU for 6 days.  It has been one of the hardest times of our lives.  She is doing good and we hope to have her home this week.  She is the love of our lives, and I can't imagine life without her.  She is so perfect.  Her dad is smitten with her.  I am so blessed to be able to experience motherhood.  I can't wait to be able to take care of my sweet baby, without any cords or nurses. We can't wait for our family to be home together! 

The Reality of Marriage

I know I have only been married for three years, so I still no little about marriage but what I do know is that I hate the way that marriage is portrayed in the media.  Media teaches us from a small age about the fairy tale (what marriage/relationships should be like).  We fall in love with our soul mate, fireworks light and spell out "Happily Ever After." One example Cinderella, she finds her prince charming he puts on the shoe that is the perfect fit, fireworks go off they get married and live "happily ever after!"  Happily ever after!  What does that even mean?  Did they go home and stare in eachothers eye, make love, and kiss all the time.  The thing that gets worse about this false idea is that it is implanted into our brains at such a young age.  We get older and hopefully, hopefully we have parents who teach us reality.  You would think that as we age we become more educated about marriage, and we get a better sense of what it should be like.  But NO, It only gets worse!
We  are filled with the idea that women should be 5'5 size 2 and at least a D bra size.  We are forced to see what women should look like, and be like through comercials, T.V. shows, and PORNOGRAPHY.  Anyone has pornography at there finger tips.  Children are using smart phones, and  f anyone wants to see it they will get it.  It doesn't matter how old, if they are married, or if they are 5 years old.  It's everywhere!  How does this all fit in with Cinderella, because that is the start to our expectation of relationships.  If we don't meet our prince charming we will get bored, because fireworks aren't flashing 24/7 and the normalicy of marriage hits and we realize that marriage is hard.  There are ups and downs.  Fights and disagreements, children to raise, and problems that have to be talked about .  What the fairy tales should say is "And this is where is begins."  After the honeymoon marriage becomes a normal way of life.  It gets real!  You work on differences and learn everyday until the day we die how to resolve problems.
Media teaches us that reality of marriage is BORING! Its not exciting, marriage must be exciting or we are not soul mates.  The man must sweep you off your feet everyday or they are boring, and you should move on to the next.  We are taught to not work on our marriages.  If it gets hard find the easy way out.  Why doesn't the media explain the damage of divorce, not only on ourselves but especially kids.  It is sick how distorted views of relationships are thees days.
I am so lucky I married a man who knows that we are not perfect, either is our relationship, but he is committed to our marriage. The majority of our days are normal, real.  We don't feel like we have to put on a show.  We know each other and continue to learn how we work.  There are days where we feel excited.  Days where we fight, but the thing that I love most is we can be ourselves.  We can be sad when we are sad.  If we have a bad day we can.  I don't have to act perfect all of the time.  A healthy marriage is a real marriage where there are issues.  We have and will continue to have many exciting times and times where we might want to kill each other, but at least we will know to expect it.  We understand that that is what make us strong.  We overcoming trials and grow together.  I have a lot to learn, but I am blessed and lucky enough to have picked the man I did to learn it with.

Am I really fit for a GIRL?

I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and excited to have a girl, but I question my future parent skills. 
 First Reason:  I go look for clothes and all I see is frilly pink lace. 

If anyone knows me very good, knows that I am not a frilly pink lace type of girl.  Do I get the frilly pink lace or do I get the pink track suite with the pink pumas. 

Don't even get me started on bows. 

When I was a little girl I would have used bows to put around balls (get your minds out of the gutter, sports balls) and smash them in the mud and laughed.  I love the cute little bows, but I still have this weird hold up.  Next, DRESSES.

Dresses scare me the only time I ever wear dresses is to church and still I find myself not crossing my legs.  The dresses are so cute but they really aren't that comfortable.  You can't run and play NO! You must sit with your little legs crossed and act like a lady.   I will give in, but just know when you see my frilly pink laced girl with a pretty little dress on and a cute little bow on her head just remember I am really doing this, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT GIRLS DO! We are ladies! :)
Reason 2
Dance lessons! Just the two words scare me to death.  What do I do when my little girl wants me to help her dance!  What if she is really is good and loves it. 

I really feel like my girl is going to be really girly and doesn't know why I don't know how to do a plea A (however the crap you spell that).  What if she wants to CHEERLEAD!

No offense to the cheerleaders out there but when I played basketball and when they did all there little fingercrossing clap cheers when I was shooting free throws, I wanted to airball and hit them so bad with the basketball.  Nothing against cheer leading, but what if my daughter really wants to be one.  I will support her of coarse, but again she will wonder why I don't know what a toe touch is. These are real genuine fears I am having.
Last Reason:
Sewing and cooking. I don't know how to sew on a button I really hope my daughter doesn't ask for help in her home ec. class.  I really don't know how I even passed. 

If there is one thing I hate on this earth it is sewing, I would rather scrape stinky mink poop from wires with one hand and get bitten by a male mink on the other, than sew a QUILT! I am so glad I am not a pioneer lady.

Cooking I try to cook I do, but for the three years I have been married I have never baked.  Actually I really can't ever remember baking cookies. (That just occurred to me, I really don't think I have ever baked cookies) My daughters going to want to make cookies, she really is.  I really don't know if I am prepared for this whole girly thing, but I am excited to give it my best shot.  Even if I burn cookies, stab a needle through my finger,  or break my leg from a toe touch.

I am excited to have the chance to have a DAUGHTER!

Virgina!

We are officially back selling alarms.  We didn't think that we would ever have to do it again, but we had to make sacrifices for the upcoming baby.  We have been here for 3 weeks now and Chris has been selling great!  I don't really like it out here too much, but financially it is well worth it.  We are about 15 minutes away from D.C. We love going to the city.  Its hard to do much, because Chris works so much.  He works from 12 pm to 9 Monday through Friday and Saturday he works 9am to 9pm.  His work schedule is exhausting! My days consist of sleeping, reading, cleaning, and walking Sophie.  My days sound nice for maybe a week or two, but it can get lonely and BORING!  I have got to figure out something to do during the day or I could go crazy!

Pregnancy:  Besides the fact that I feel like an oversized Beach Whale (and its only going to get worse),

I am extremely tired, and literally feel like my heart is on fire all of the time!

I started feeling Kya kick, I love this part of pregnancy. I am halfway through and I can't wait for her.

It's a girl!!

It's a baby girl!  Today Chris and I went to get an ultra sound and we got to see the baby for the first time.  She was so cute!  She had the hiccups the whole time.  She would hiccup and her whole body would pop up.  She kept crossing her legs and the technician couldn't tell what she was.  We are both so excited to meet her, and already love her so much.

I am pregnant!!

The baby is due Oct. 19th, Chris and I are so excited.  We just moved into a house that I lived in for the first 13 years on my life.  I am eight weeks and am doing good.  I am sick and tired!  The tiredness is killing me, because Chris and I are mating mink and then I have been going strait to school.  We just got a sweet little dog named Sophie. She is a shih tzu, and full of energy.  We are look forward to the changes that are happening and can't wait for a baby in our lives.